


We're Going to Hell

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [70]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BEFORE AND AFTER IT HAPPENS, ITS MENTIONED IN VAGUE TERMS, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Texting, k i n d o f, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: laf: MY LAST SHRED OF HOPE THAT I WAS GOING TO HEAVEN laf: GONElittle lion: you showed them our private chat didn't youjohnn: yES





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am very small and very ace take this into account BEFORE you read this

**laf** : OH MY G O D  
  
**johnn** : I TOLD YOU THAT IT GOT INTENSE  
  
**laf** : I NEED TO GO TO CHURCH  
  
**laf** : MY LAST SHRED OF HOPE THAT I WAS GOING TO HEAVEN  
  
**laf** : GONE  
  
**little lion** : you showed them our private chat didn't you  
  
**johnn** : yES  
  
**laf** : IM SO  
  
**laf** : EMOTIONALLY CONFLICTED  
  
**johnn** : we warned you  
  
**laf** : NOT FOR THAT  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE THE PURE ONE HERE  
  
**little lion** : you're not  
  
**laf** : IN COMPARISON TO THE UTTER FILTH THAT YOU TWO DISCUSS I RANK PRETTY FUCKING HIGH ON THE LIST ALEXANDER  
  
**more like HUNKules** : hello I just got here  
  
**laf** : I WISH I WAS DEAD IM SCREAMING SO LOUDLY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : could it really have been THAT bad  
  
**laf** : YOU HAVENT SEEN WHAT IVE SEEN  
  
**more like HUNKules** : really though  
  
**laf** : ITS,,,A LOT  
  
**laf** : IM SO GROSSED OUT  
  
**johnn** : and yet you don't seem to hate it  
  
**laf:** SHUT UP  
  
**johnn** : wait a minute  
  
**laf** : I REALLY WISH I WAS DEAD GET OFF OF MY LAP  
  
**johnn** : ~~~~~~  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : WE ARE AT WORK  
  
**laf** : gotta go  
  
**little lion** : I CANT DEAL WITH YOU PEOPLE  
  
**laf** : are you gonna come here bc if not we're locking the door  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,whose office are you in  
  
**laf** : mine  
  
**little lion** : I'll be there in a minute  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : OKAY I STILL DONT SEE THE APPEAL  
  
**johnn** : bc in the conversation we had abt it you weren't in it so you weren't part of the initial happening  
  
**johnn** : we had to adapt  
  
**laf** : would it have made a difference  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**laf** : where did you learn these things oh my god  
  
**little lion** : what conversation did they read  
  
**johnn** : like the most recent one  
  
**little lion** : that one was,,,pretty tame tbh  
  
**laf** : I am deceased  
  
**johnn** : we have other ones  
  
**little lion** : that are like way worse than this  
  
**laf** : yknow  
  
**laf** : I just want to live my life  
  
**laf** : go to heaven  
  
**laf** : talk to julie andrews like once  
  
**little lion** : she isn't dead??  
  
**laf** : I need to be worthy of talking to her before I actually talk to her like obviously  
  
**laf** : and this is putting more sins on my conscience than I'll be able to wash away  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**johnn** : wAIT I HAVE ONE FOR YOU TO READ  
  
**laf** : everything goes to you when I die hercules  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : lafayette is sitting in the corner of their office in the fetal position and they refuse to look at us  
  
**laf** : ITS LIKE SOMEONE ASKED YOU WHAT SEXUAL ACTS COULD iNSURE MY LITERAL IMMEDIATE DEATH  
  
**laf** : AND YOU JUST FUCKIGN WENT FOR IT  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**johnn** : it's not THAT BAD  
  
**laf** : EXCUSE ME  
  
**laf** : THE PART WITH THE ROPES  
  
**johnn** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : someone just came into my studio you can't do this to me  
  
**laf** : PUT IT ON DO NOT DISTURB I HAVE TO YELL  
  
**more like HUNKules** : stay as pure as you can  
  
**more like HUNKules** : remember that you love them  
  
**little lion** : HERES THE THING  
  
**little lion** : LAFAYETTE IS LITERALLY YELLING ABOUT THIS  
  
**little lion** : HOWEVER THEY DON'T HAVE A REASON TO  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**laf** : I think that this is Private and should not have ever reached my eyes  
  
**johnn** : but now that it has you aren't exactly complaining  
  
**laf** : you can't expose me like this  
  
**johnn** : I think you were exposed already when we had sex in your office  
  
**laf** : eND IT  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : tbh I would suggest that we all go on a lunch date but I'm not sure if I want to be dragged into this mess  
  
**laf** : can we tho  
  
**laf** : my office is suffocating me  
  
**johnn** : its becasushafkhfr  
  
**laf** : I KNOW WHAT ITS BECAUSE OF  
  
**johnn** : I CANT BELIEVE YOU STOLE MY PHONE   
  
**laf** : SUFFER  
  
**laf** : SO ABOUT THIS DATE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : fine but we're not discussing your private chat  
  
**little lion** : oh honey you wouldn't survive discussing our private chat in public  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
**more like HUNKules** : so yes to the lunch date??  
  
**little lion** : we'll be there!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay love you  
  
**little lion** : love you too!!  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you three are so beautiful I hate this  
  
**johnn** : aw hercules <3  
  
**more like HUNKules** : literally you hurt me I can see you walking in rn and you're killing  
  
**johnn** : I love you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you too  
  
**johnn** : also we can't find the table  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you're right in front of it  
  
**johnn** : OH  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay so like  
  
**laf** : WE SAID WE WERENT DISCUSSING IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : YEAH I KNOW BUT I DIDNT S E E  
  
**laf** : N O  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ARE BITE MARKS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT VISIBLE AFTER THIS AMOUNT OF TIME  
  
**laf** : THI S IS BU LLY IN G  
  
**little lion** : yknow we don't have to be here rn  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what  
  
**little lion** : well I mean  
  
**little lion** : our house is only a fifteen minute drive away  
  
**little lion** : we could make it back before our lunch break is over  
  
**laf** : oh my god do I have the energy  
  
**little lion** : that's up to you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I feel like I should know what happens in your private chat before I consent to this  
  
**little lion** : I'll drive and you can just read off of my phone until we get there  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**johnn** : or lafayette can drive and we can read it out loud  
  
**laf** : DO NOT I WILL DIE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I like that idea more tho  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**laf** : FINE JUST BC I WANT TO SEE HOW THIS TURNS OUT  
  
**little lion** : LETS!! FUCKIN!! GO!!  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : I ALMOST CRASHED THE CAR SIX DIFFERENT TIMES AND YOU THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA I HATE YOU ALL  
  
**johnn** : yet you still drove us home to do this  
  
**laf** : SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH LAURENS  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay so I'm salivating  
  
**laf** : the fact that you have the capability to get your phone out of your pocket but not move from standing in the bedroom doorframe astounds me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you just did the exact same thing excuse me??  
  
**laf** : anyway  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what did they do in your office just like a question  
  
**laf** : IT WASNT THIS  
  
**laf** : IT WAS MORE PURE THAN THIS  
  
**laf** : IT WAS FILTHY BUT IT WAS MORE PURE THAN THIS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : purer is a word right  
  
**laf** : not to me and also not the point  
  
**laf** : the point was that it was 4/10 pure  
  
**more like HUNKules** : as pure as having sex in your office can be  
  
**laf** : RIGHT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : if I pass out would you judge me  
  
**laf** : not at all  
  
**more like HUNKules** : nah I'm not gonna risk it  
  
**laf** : okay  
  
**laf** : what did john just say  
  
**more like HUNKules** : "are you two just gonna stand there or are you gonna do this?"  
  
**laf** : I'm not going to live through this am I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : lmao I'll die with you  
  
**laf** : good good so I won't be alone  
  
**more like HUNKules** : far from it  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : I want a divorce  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh my god  
  
**laf** : these two aSSHOLES  
  
**laf** : PRANCE INTO WORK CASUALLY TALKING ABT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT  
  
**laf** : MEANWHILE IM BEHIND THEM WONDERING IF MY SOUL HAS COME BACK INTO MY BODY YET  
  
**more like HUNKules** : if it's any consolation I've been sitting in a chair in my studio staring up at the ceiling since you dropped me off bc I don't have the energy to do anything else  
  
**laf** : oh my god can't I just do that  
  
**johnn** : you wanted to know what we talked abt in our private chat  
  
**johnn** : so instead of telling you we showed you  
  
**laf** : is my soul ever coming back just a question  
  
**laf** : also I feel like you've done that before  
  
**johnn** : no and we have  
  
**little lion** : what do you think we do when you and hercules aren't home  
  
**laf** : @@god please spare me  
  
**little lion** : it's a little too late for that love  
  
**laf** : don't ""love"" me when you were the human embodiment of sin not fifteen minutes ago  
  
**little lion** : :^((( but I love you  
  
**laf** : ,,,,,,,,,,,I love you too  
  
**little lion** : !!!  
  
**johnn** : I love you all btw  
  
**johnn** : I have a very strange urge to hold hercules' hand rn I'm not sure why???  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you all too and tbh I would love to hold hands w/ someone??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm still staring at the ceiling I can't look away  
  
**johnn** : are you okay  
  
**more like HUNKules** : no it's like all the energy has been suctioned out of my body  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I was going to say that the energy has been sucked out of my body but I know what joke you'd make  
  
**little lion** : that's not all that was sucked ;^)))  
  
**more like HUNKules** : see  
  
**johnn** : HA  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm walking somewhere to get coffee bye  
  
**little lion** : bye hercules  
  
**laf** : bye hercules!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh it feels like I'm half dead and all of my blood isn't where is should be  
  
**little lion** : rip  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I just stood up and fell right the fuck over again  
  
**little lion** : oh god  
  
**more like HUNKules** : whatever let's hope I live okay bye  
  
**little lion** : bYE  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : HOME HOME HOM EHOME HOME HOME OHOME HOEM EHOME HEOEHEMEOE  
  
**laf** : I'm half asleep you're driving  
  
**johnn** : YEAH IM AT THE PEAK OF MY CAFFIENE RUSH RN LETS G O  
  
**laf** : I'm afraid  
  
**little lion** : I just woke up  
  
**little lion** : accidentally texted angelica 20 messages of random letters and one ten minute video recording of me sleeping,,,  
  
**johnn** : oh my god  
  
\---  
  
**angelica** : I'm sorry what  
  
**little lion** : I was asleep,,,,  
  
**angelica** : I  
  
**angelica** : did you actually send me this voice recording rn  
  
**little lion** : what  
  
**angelica** : LISTEN TO IT  
  
**little lion** : THATS JUST ME TALKING ABOUT HERCULES' CHEEKBONE STRUCTURE YOU LITERALLY SCARED ME  
  
**angelica** : I???  
  
**little lion** : I WAS SCARED I LIKE ACCIDENTALLY TOLD YOU ABT,,,,STUFF,,,  
  
**angelica** : I don't want to know  
  
**little lion** : you really don't  
  
**little lion** : I gotta go  
  
**angelica** : bYE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : MY HEART RATE JUST SPIKED  
  
**johnn** : ???  
  
**little lion** : SO THE TEN MINUTE VOICE RECORDING WAS ACTUALLY ME TALKING  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**little lion** : AND SHE WAS LIKE ""DID YOU ACTUALLY SEND ME THIS"" SO I WAS SWEATING LOUDLY BC I THOUGHT I DESCRIBED WHAT WE DID THIS AFTERNOON AND THEN I LISTENED TO IT AND IT WAS JUST ME CRYING OVER HERCULES WHICH IS ALL I DO  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I also just woke up and now my back feels like actually broken  
  
**laf** : oh dear god  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ughughuhguhguhguhghug  
  
**laf** : we're getting in the car now to come pick you up so we'll be there in a bit  
  
**more like HUNKules** that's not gonna help my back tho  
  
**little lion** : can we do that thing where you lie on the floor and I walk on your back to crack it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : honestly I wouldn't be opposed  
  
**little lion** : really  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I feel like a human question mark so yes really  
  
**little lion** : gOD BLESS  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : oh my god our bedsheets are fucking soaked in sweat why god  
  
**johnn** : I DIDNT NEED THAT FUN FACT  
  
**laf** : come help me change the sheets  
  
**johnn** : why do I have to do it  
  
**laf** : bc alex is currently walking on hercules' back and screaming bc he thinks he's gonna hurt him  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it actually feels really nice  
  
**little lion** : I feel like I'm going to kill you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you're literally not hurting me and if you stop walking on my back I'm going to cry bc I tried to crack my back myself earlier and that did nothing  
  
**little lion** : okay but tell me if it hurts  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I will  
  
**little lion** : okay here we go  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : silk sheets silk sheets silk sheets  
  
**laf** : this is the nicest feeling on the planet  
  
**laf** : we need to wash our comforter also  
  
**johnn** : do we have one that matches these sheets  
  
**laf** : idk you organized the spare room closet  
  
**johnn** : I think we do hold on I'll go get it  
  
**laf** : I'm sO tired  
  
**johnn** : rt  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : I went out into the living room to see what they were doing and alex is lying across the coffee table while hercules cracks his back for him when did you switch  
  
**little lion** : when you were getting a different comforter out of the closet  
  
**little lion** : we'll be in in a bit  
  
**johnn** : okay  
  
**johnn** : if I'm asleep by the time you come in then I love you  
  
**little lion** : love you too  
  
**johnn** : goodnight  
  
**little lion** : night!!  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh you're awake  
  
**johnn** : barely  
  
**laf** : we were waiting for you  
  
**little lion** : aw  
  
**johnn** : just get in bed  
  
**little lion** : give me a second to get changed  
  
**johnn** : okay  
  
**johnn** : if you flop on the bed I will kill you  
  
**johnn** : OW  
  
**little lion** : once you told me not to do it I couldn't resist  
  
**johnn** : I'm way too tired and I love you way too much to be mad but if I get a bruise from how hard your elbow is digging into my stomach I swear to god  
  
**little lion** : sorry love  
  
**johnn** : I'm going to sleep  
  
**little lion** : me too gn  
  
**johnn** : gn!!

**Author's Note:**

> I COULD NOT FIND IT WITHIN THE REMNANTS OF MY SOUL TO WRITE SMUT IM NOT DOIN IT I COULDNT IM IN TEARS WHY DID I WRITE THIS


End file.
